Sometimes it is worth looking at different translations of the same piece of Scripture to see if they give a different perspective on a particular passage of phrase. In reading today’s gobbit from Acts, I was particularly struck by verse 27:
“27so that they would search for God and perhaps grope for him and find him - though indeed he is not far from each one of us.”
The idea or process of ‘groping’ for God in the dark is I think very apt, and for me, a more descriptive translation that given in either the Jerusalem Bible or the New International Version of the Bible. In the Jerusalem Bible verse 27 is thus written:
“And he did this so that all nations might seek the deity and, by feeling their way towards him, succeed in finding him.”
and in the NIV:
“God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him.”
the New Revised Standard Version’s use of the word ‘grope’ rather than ‘feeling’ or ‘reach’ gives the verse an earthy, raw feeling. Feeling and reaching are, I think, rather passive in their meaning. Whereas groping for God implies something hard and physical. It is very active and requires a lot of effort to find God, rather than simply reaching out or gently feeling for him.
Finding God, is not easy, despite, as St.Luke says; ‘he is not far from us at anytime’. God is always with us but we have to be active in discerning his presence. While pondering on this groping for God, I was reminded of the prayer-poem ‘Footsteps’ which ends with the line:
“When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”
I know that my own searching for God has often been like this. Feeling abandoned or not close to God only then to discover that God had not left my side but was in fact carrying me through those times of darkness and despair, of frustration and doubt. I suppose I like the idea of groping in the dark for God because it feels like that is what I have always done. I’ve looked for him and searched for him but not always found him, or so I thought. Yet, even when I wasn’t aware of his presence I have continued to have been bothered by him. In fact all my life, for a long as I can remember I have been ‘bothered’ by God.
Even as a small child, I knew God existed for me because I was nudged and niggled by the through of him. I think I was six or seven when I first began saying I wanted to be a priest, even though I wan’t sure what a priest actually was or did. I did my best to stop looking for God but still felt bothered by him in my teenage years and once I hit my 20’s the bothering became a real pain and I could no longer ignore him. And, to save another story the rest is history!
In my bothering I groped my way forward and backwards trying to understand ‘God’ until I realised that I could never understand God or control him because God was a lot bigger than I was and far beyond my comprehension. The best I could do was to continually grope in the dark for God and to rejoice in those brief flashes of light and understanding that God would give me.
The way I have come to ‘know’ more about God is through the person of Jesus, his son. In knowing Jesus I don’t have to grope about in the dark, I can follow his ways and read the stores about him by those who knew him or knew of him. Jesus, is my light in the darkness as I grope for God.
God continues to ‘bother’ me to this day and I hope that will always be the case because it really is ‘an awfully big adventure’ as I continually try to understand this earthly life and my faith.
I hope that the idea of groping about to find God will also encourage you in your journey of life as you too wrestle with faith, doubt and hope.